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What Kind of Couple Are You?
- Best of Friends. This is the contemporary model. Both of you are equals, sharing roles, responsibilities and tasks. Your relationship is based on friendship and companionship. You are career-focussed and have no spare time, particularly for sex and intimacy, and can end up like flatmates or siblings.
- Hunter-gatherer/nurturer. This is the traditional partnership model. The man goes out to work and earns the money, the woman brings up the children and provides a stable home. Gender roles are clearly defined. Your worlds are very different - workplace and home - so you often have limited shared experience and can grow apart.
- Babes in the Wood. You are emotional orphans in need of rescue. Childhood difficulties have left you vulnerable and needy. You cling to each other in fear and despair, hoping that the other can be the adult in your relationship. You often have difficulties parenting.
- Fire & Ice. One of you is remote and unavailable; the other is emotional and warm. When frustration makes one of you hysterical, the other backs off further and becomes controlling. One carries the anger, the other represses their feelings. Because you are so different, you often feel misunderstood and rejected.
- Cat & Dog. You thrive on constant fights and arguments. You blame and criticise each other continuously. The endless drama keeps the adrenaline flowing. Confrontation is a way of avoiding the real issues. You feel exhausted and demoralised, and isolated because you don't communicate effectively.
- Victim/Rescuer. Your relationship is based on a deal. "I'll look after you because you are needy; you must stay needy because I need someone to look after" This is the dynamic of addicts, depressives and co-dependents. But when one of you gets stronger, the other becomes weaker.
- Happily Ever After. You are the romantic couple who work hard to keep the honeymoon mood alive. Your relationship is glamorised and idealised, and difficulties are glossed over. In a crisis it can all fall apart. Your children often come second to your relationship.
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